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3 Things Marriage Taught Me

Sharing
Being the  only child of my parents ,sharing was almost an unknown idea to me.My husband is also the only child of his parents.So when we got married it was like a union of two people with no experience of sharing planning to share their whole lives with each other.A very difficult task.The friction could arise out of the smallest issues like sharing the wardrobe space,to using the other person’s things.It resulted in arguments and sometimes fights.But then as time passed we realised that we actually like sharing things with each other.( I like his perfume and he likes using my soft fluffy towel ) .Once the realisation came that he will use my things carefully and I should not get so possessive about materialistic things it became quite easy.I guess time teaches you things and one needs to sometimes let go.

Too many expectations spoil the relationship
When I got married I was naive ( stupid) enough to think that after marrying my Mr Right my life would be like a fairy tale with us living happily ever after.So expectations were riding high.Big mistake.Every birthday,anniversary or any special day I used to keep my expectation so high that anything that was done for me failed to really impress me.(Though looking back I now realise H really did try his best) I wanted everything to be perfect. Candle light dinners, long romantic drives ,movies on week ends ,stuff like that.But after long working hours on weekdays who has time and energy left for all that?  So none of these things happened.And I was dissapointed. I cribbed and complained to my best friend. And she said ‘ Do you think you do everything perfectly all the time?’ and that struck me. I realised that even I am not perfect.I can’t cook.I am pathetic at household chores ( now improving though) but still when it comes to expecting I expect a lot without actually looking at the fact that I am also not able to live upto all his expectations all the time.I was suddenly ashamed of myself. After that I consciously  started appreciating the things he did for me and kept a check on my critisism and things improved. Since I didn’t expect much anything nice that he did used to come as a pleasant surprise. I still fall and fumble on the way and sometimes expect a little too much but I try and keep these occasions to the minimum.I have learnt my lesson the hard way and hope to remember it forever.

Communication is the key
H is one person who understands my likes and dislikes better than anyone.Most of the time he can understand what’s going on with me just by looking at my face.( I love that about him) .But then nobody is a perfect mind reader. I used to get dissapointed when he didn’t get my hints, when he couldn’t understand what exactly I meant when I said something and other such things. But as time passed I realised the key to a healthy and growing relationship  is communication.If I tell him clearly and nicely what I want or need most of the times he understands and does things accordingly and the same is with me.When we talk about our everyday experiences we learn and grow together and that enables us to be on a same wavelength.If there is no communication then one goes on jumping to conclusions without even checking the facts. That results in serious disconnect.Communication is part giving part receiving.Some people are good talkers; some are good listeners but both partners have to do both for good and effective communication.

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Posted by on May 2, 2012 in Random Thoughts

 

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Marriage Quotes

Marriage for me till now has been like an roller coasters ride.There have been ups and downs ,screams and shouts but I am really glad that I got on.I thought it would be fun to share with you some really funny,interesting & introspective quotes on marriage

  • Marriage is the most expensive way of discovering your faults.
  • A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,always with the same person
  • Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut afterwards.
  • Marriage has many pains ; but celibacy has no pleasures.
  • What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.
  • A man doesn’t know what happiness is until he’s married. By then it’s too late.
  • When a man marries a woman, they become one–the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
  • Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
  • A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.
  • A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
  • All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
  • Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
  • Marriage is not about age; it’s about finding the right person.
  • Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
  • Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
  • Where there’s marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
  • When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.
  • Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.  
  • It takes a loose rein to keep a marriage tight.  
  • Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.  
  • Marriage is nature’s way of ensuring that a woman picks up some mothering experience before she has her first child.
  • Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she’s a householder
  • Men have a much better time of it than women.  For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier
  • Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that’s a real treat.
  • No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.
  • Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing.
 
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Posted by on April 7, 2012 in Lists, Quotes

 

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