Safety – A Distant Dream

14 Jan

I am scared of my safety on streets and not ashamed to accept it.The brutal gang rape of a 23 year old girl in Delhi reinforces my fear.What was her fault ?That she got on in the wrong bus? One wrong decision and her life gets all messed up.A normal girl’s life filled with  with dreams and aspirations is torn apart just  because she took a wrong bus with such vile animals in it?That makes no sense.It makes no bloody sense.It makes me numb, angry,disgusted,shocked and scared.

I have been procrastinating about writing this post because somehow I wasn’t able to face it. It’s scary to read about all the torture the poor girl had to go through… A girl just like you and me …I just was not able to put my thoughts into words because I wanted to somehow lock them into a box and not face it… I am angry but I am scared too… 
After I read about this case I started thinking that probably beneath the thin veneer of civilisation lives a brutal animal willing to attack given a chance … You never know under whose disguise lies a demon… There are so many people whom you are surrounded with but never give a second glance and think what if there is something amiss…The watchman of your building who knows when you come and go , the delivery boys , the office boys … Anyone can have such ulterior motives… One just doesn’t know … I went into a phase where I was almost paranoid … I kept checking and rechecking who is walking behind me on roads , avoided lonely roads , locked the doors securely … I had somehow lost the trust and sense of security … 
But after few days this stress started taking a toll on my everyday life … I started losing out the person I am to this fear… I realised I need to get a grip on myself …Girls in office were talking about carrying pepper sprays and pocket knives but I thought in the big jhola like bags that I carry finding my cell phone is a task how can I  ever find a pepper spay specially when I am scared ?
So what can one  do? Knowing the kind of person I am I have made a list of things that I can do even when I am scared … Like screaming … I can scream pretty loudly if I am in trouble … That should catch a passer bye ‘s attention …Being aware of your surroundings … For example while walking on road specially a lonely road keep your eyes and ears open for the any strange seemingly dangerous signals … Trust your instincts … Letting someone know where you are going and with whomif you are going somewhere late night ( I know for teenagers it’s very annoying … I had endless fights with my parents over it but now I realise how essential it was) so that in case something goes wrong they can easily reach you or at least call the person you are with …Learn some basic self defence techniques… You can ask your elder brothers or male cousins to teach you how to hit…I had read somewhere that even a child can break someone’s knee if he hits on the right spot…Also it’s very importent to project yourself as someone that can protest , make noise or cause harm because that itself can act as a deterrent to some perverts…Not all these tricks work for everybody every time but you can always think about what you can do and make a mental list  so that in case of trouble it’s kind of a reflex action…
One cannot live in fear.. We can write, blog and make noise so that the government takes some action for our safety but till then there is no point in just waiting in fear…We need to take steps to help ourselves because something like this can happen to anyone of us…

Posted by on January 14, 2013 in Miscellaneous


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4 responses to “Safety – A Distant Dream

  1. slakker9

    January 14, 2013 at 4:42 pm

    It doesn’t seem like anyone is safe anymore. You have to prepare yourself as best you can but also not let fear cripple you from living your life.


  2. Nomad

    January 15, 2013 at 9:00 am

    You are so right. So many cannot even afford to avoid the high risk timings or places, you know, because they have to work. Feeling unsafe all the time is one of the worst kind of violation of human rights and freedom, and to top it, you are definitely experiencing a certain fraction of that pain and death each moment you are spending on being scared or stressed.


    • Nomad

      January 15, 2013 at 8:01 pm

      Was talking to a friend who has been avoiding the night shift duty since this incident, and is now starting again. How long can we go on being scared and putting off daily life! Worst is, we have no hope of things getting better anytime soon.


  3. emotionalsalad

    January 16, 2013 at 3:17 pm

    So true …I get so worried when my friends who live in distant suburbs leave late from office…the constant feeling of being unsafe is very very stressful and it takes a heavy toll on your everyday life….



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