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3 Things Marriage Taught Me

02 May

Sharing
Being the  only child of my parents ,sharing was almost an unknown idea to me.My husband is also the only child of his parents.So when we got married it was like a union of two people with no experience of sharing planning to share their whole lives with each other.A very difficult task.The friction could arise out of the smallest issues like sharing the wardrobe space,to using the other person’s things.It resulted in arguments and sometimes fights.But then as time passed we realised that we actually like sharing things with each other.( I like his perfume and he likes using my soft fluffy towel ) .Once the realisation came that he will use my things carefully and I should not get so possessive about materialistic things it became quite easy.I guess time teaches you things and one needs to sometimes let go.

Too many expectations spoil the relationship
When I got married I was naive ( stupid) enough to think that after marrying my Mr Right my life would be like a fairy tale with us living happily ever after.So expectations were riding high.Big mistake.Every birthday,anniversary or any special day I used to keep my expectation so high that anything that was done for me failed to really impress me.(Though looking back I now realise H really did try his best) I wanted everything to be perfect. Candle light dinners, long romantic drives ,movies on week ends ,stuff like that.But after long working hours on weekdays who has time and energy left for all that?  So none of these things happened.And I was dissapointed. I cribbed and complained to my best friend. And she said ‘ Do you think you do everything perfectly all the time?’ and that struck me. I realised that even I am not perfect.I can’t cook.I am pathetic at household chores ( now improving though) but still when it comes to expecting I expect a lot without actually looking at the fact that I am also not able to live upto all his expectations all the time.I was suddenly ashamed of myself. After that I consciously  started appreciating the things he did for me and kept a check on my critisism and things improved. Since I didn’t expect much anything nice that he did used to come as a pleasant surprise. I still fall and fumble on the way and sometimes expect a little too much but I try and keep these occasions to the minimum.I have learnt my lesson the hard way and hope to remember it forever.

Communication is the key
H is one person who understands my likes and dislikes better than anyone.Most of the time he can understand what’s going on with me just by looking at my face.( I love that about him) .But then nobody is a perfect mind reader. I used to get dissapointed when he didn’t get my hints, when he couldn’t understand what exactly I meant when I said something and other such things. But as time passed I realised the key to a healthy and growing relationship  is communication.If I tell him clearly and nicely what I want or need most of the times he understands and does things accordingly and the same is with me.When we talk about our everyday experiences we learn and grow together and that enables us to be on a same wavelength.If there is no communication then one goes on jumping to conclusions without even checking the facts. That results in serious disconnect.Communication is part giving part receiving.Some people are good talkers; some are good listeners but both partners have to do both for good and effective communication.

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8 Comments

Posted by on May 2, 2012 in Random Thoughts

 

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8 responses to “3 Things Marriage Taught Me

  1. phoenix0612

    May 2, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    hi
    You have been nominated the most versatile blogger here
    http://teenagebabblingbyphoenix.wordpress.com/2012/05/02/versatile-blogger-award/

    Like

     
  2. ladyfi

    May 4, 2012 at 4:02 am

    Marriage is like a garden that needs careful tending….

    Like

     
    • emotionalsalad

      May 4, 2012 at 5:15 pm

      So true… A marriage requires putting in loving effort everyday..

      Like

       
  3. Roshni

    May 4, 2012 at 7:27 am

    I loved this post, especially the last two points. Probably because I think the same way. And about not being good at cooking and stuff, that sounds a lot like me! 🙂 Even though I’m not in a relationship right now, I always make it a point not to expect anything from anyone…because I wouldn’t want the other person to expect anything from me! 🙂

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    • emotionalsalad

      May 4, 2012 at 5:13 pm

      V true…I learnt my lesson quite late…plan to stick to it as much as possible…

      Like

       
  4. HansHB

    May 4, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    Great post, – nice picture!

    Like

     
    • emotionalsalad

      May 4, 2012 at 4:45 pm

      Thank you for appreciating my post but the pic was a selected after some googling…not clicked by me…

      Like

       
      • HansHB

        May 4, 2012 at 4:49 pm

        ok. but text is ok

        Like

         

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